16 Jun

Smells Like Toddler Spirit

Dear Bad Dad,

My wife insists on only “age-appropriate children’s music” for Chamomile (our daughter, age 4), but I think we should listen to whatever we want to.  Is my wife taking things too far?



New Haven, CT

Dear Sam,

Tell your wife that Dear Bad Dad said kids’ music today is horrid.  Vile.  The kind of thing Saddam used to break prisoners. And that’s just the stuff that parents consider GOOD. Read More »

16 Jun

BAD DADITORIAL – Your Child Is Not Special

At the playground, as I kept an eye on The Girl giving her doll the lastest Medusa hair style (a/k/a “The Winehouse”), I overheard a gaggle of moms chatting about their kids.

One mom stood out.

In excruciating detail, she described how her little boy (let’s call him Shiva the Destroyer) had moved a chair below a shelf, then climbed on the chair to grab something from the shelf.  I think it was a Spongebob windup toy.  Or a hunting knife. Read More »

16 Jun

I Got Your Present RIGHT HERE!

Dear Bad Dad,

Our little Lucretia was just invited to her classmate Goneril’s birthday party at Funtastic Voyage Fun Land of Fun.  The invitation said “Please, no presents.”

Should we still bring a present?

Seeking guidance,


Rockville Centre, NY

Dear David,

Here’s what I started to write to you:

“Invitation says ‘No presents.’ You show up with bupkis.  Now where’s my remote?” Read More »

16 Jun

Vive La Difference – Conversation

Yin and yang.

Oil and vinegar.

Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner.

THIS is “Vive La Difference,” an occasional post about those total opposites who are wholly dependent upon one another, better known as Moms and Dads. Read More »

16 Jun

Either Cut His Hair or Shut Your Word-Hole

Dear Bad Dad,

When we’re out with our son Crispian, 6, people often mistake him for a little girl.  OK, yes, his wispy blond hair (that we can’t bring ourselves to cut) may be misleading.  Same with his gorgeous doe eyes and those lovely long eyelashes.

Still, shouldn’t people have a clue he’s a boy?

Especially when he’s wearing his floppy sailor hat?



Portland, ME

Dear Scott,

First of all, know that you’re going to get off light.  I’m not even going to touch the name Crispian.

OK, I lied. Read More »


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