22 Sep

Baby, We Were Born to Watch

Dear Bad Dad,

My sister just installed a plasma screen and Wii console in the back of the family SUV, so now my niece is wired (in all senses of the word) from the moment she heads to kindergarten till the time she finally falls asleep … usually around 11:30 PM.

Admittedly, I don’t have kids of my own, but I really think I need to tell my sister that she’s not doing her daughter any favors.  Is that too judgmental?

Thanks very much,


Alexandria, VA

Dear Sean,

Let’s put it this way: is it too judgmental for me to call you a judgmental dipwipe with a small penis?

I’m guessing you’ve uttered some variation of the following at one time or another:

“I’ll NEVER be the kind of parent who has a DVD player in my car.  When I was growing up, all we needed on long car trips was a Mad Libs book and a ripping good game of Punch Buggy.”

Time for Dear Bad Dad to call bullsh*t.  And then punch you in the arm.  Hard. Read More »

26 Aug

Read ‘Em And Weep

A Book For Kids

Dear Bad Dad,

I’m about to become a father for the first time. The thing that’s most overwhelming?  The sheer number of books out there on every single aspect of raising a child.  How do I even begin to figure out which one(s) to get?


Cambridge, MA

Dear Dan,

While you may THINK parenthood will be a team effort, you’re actually entering a war zone.  And there ain’t no pulling out.  Which is how you got into this mess in the first place. Read More »

19 Aug

Vive La Difference – Tantrum Management

Yin and yang.

Oil and vinegar.

Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner.

THIS is “Vive La Difference,” an occasional post about those total opposites who are wholly dependent upon one another, better known as Moms and Dads. Read More »

16 Aug

Now Entering Crazytown

Dear Bad Dad,

A friend of a friend (FOAF) said she’d “put in the good word” for us at the pre-school her daughter attends and that we’d applied to.

Nice gesture, right?

Turns out the FOAF told the school we’re “really good friends” (we’ve never met) and that “our kids play together all the time” (our kids have never met).

It’s a terrific pre-school, but I feel like our application’s been tainted by this person who has a pretty loose relationship with the truth.

What should we do?

Thanks in advance,


Annapolis, MD

Dear Peter,

For starters, you should THANK HER! Twice!

Not only because she might help get you into this kickass pre-school (that the little demon perched on your shoulder keeps reminding you is a feeder to Princeton), but because you’re no longer psycho parent virgins. Read More »

12 Aug

BAD DADITORIAL – Hate Sandwich

Chef's Knife

On a recent vacation trip with The Missus, The Boy and The Girl, Dear Bad Dad had a revelation:

Some people don’t like parents.

OK, maybe not a “revelation.”  More of a “confirmation of the painfully obvious.”  It appeared in the form of a sandwich, though  not in your usual Jesus-in-a-grilled-cheese manner.

Read More »


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