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16 Aug 2010 by Dear Bad Dad, No Comments »

Dear Bad Dad,

A friend of a friend (FOAF) said she’d “put in the good word” for us at the pre-school her daughter attends and that we’d applied to.

Nice gesture, right?

Turns out the FOAF told the school we’re “really good friends” (we’ve never met) and that “our kids play together all the time” (our kids have never met).

It’s a terrific pre-school, but I feel like our application’s been tainted by this person who has a pretty loose relationship with the truth.

What should we do?

Thanks in advance,


Annapolis, MD

Dear Peter,

For starters, you should THANK HER! Twice!

Not only because she might help get you into this kickass pre-school (that the little demon perched on your shoulder keeps reminding you is a feeder to Princeton), but because you’re no longer psycho parent virgins.

Ah, psycho parents.

The ones whose kids are the first to wail like banshees when they don’t get their way.  Just like mommy and daddy do.

The ones who think chicken pox parties are awesome.

The ones who are shocked (shocked!) when their kids are caught cheating.  Not because the kids cheated, but because they got caught.  (Sounds just a smidge like FOAF, no?)

For those unfamiliar with the species, imagine any crazy ex-girlfriend you may have had.

Now multiply her by four dozen.

Welcome to the Psycho PTA .

Before the “Dear Bad Dad is a sexist pig” comments roll in, let the record show that other Dads can also be real pieces of work. Usually when their child gets medieval on your child.  And any attempt to talk about it with the aggressor’s Dad is met with “Your pansy kid can suck it, Butt-Munch.”  Followed by a wedgie.

So don’t think of the FOAF’s pathological lying  as the glass being half empty with the foul stench of deceit.

Think of it as being half full with the intoxicating aroma of early admission.  (“Princeton.  Priiiiiiiiiinceton.”)

You’re welcome.

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